'Strailya

When we initially talked about going travelling, it was to South America only.  But when we were invited to Jasmin and Luke´s wedding in Bali, suddenly we saw the opportunity for a real round-the-world trip.  And what better excuse to stop by Down Under and say G´day to our friends and families?

 
We both have family in Oz and have both been before to visit them.  On this trip we spent a month there, two weeks in Perth visiting my family and the East London Aussie crew, and the rest in Melbourne visiting Tom´s sisters and their famiies.

Last time I was there was 13 years ago, back in the glory days of the pound, when you could live like a king anywere else in the world.  Oh how times have changed.  Australia is EXPENSIVE!

 

So what can we tell you about 'Strailya? Well, it struck me as being in one way exactly like all the cliches and stereotypes, but in another way, full of surprises and things it should be famous for, but isn´t.

 

So, here are five things that won´t surprise you about Australia:

 
1. They do have BBQs ALL THE TIME.  However, not in the English sense.  An English BBQ is an event, a rare occassion where it is warm on a Saturday. You invite all of your friends, buy a load of booze and coleslaw and a million baps.  Someone usually brings a potato salad.  And you eat cheap burgers and sausages.



In Oz, it just means you cook your meat, or whatever you´re having for dinner that night, outside.  Good meat too.  We had a lot of BBQ´d meat and it was all delicious.  Of course, they do also do the Saturday event-style piss-up BBQs too. We went to one and it was great. But there was not a burger or bap in sight, and this was a gooood thing.

mmmmmmmm...

2. Great White Sharks eat people.  It´s on the news in WA regularly.  In fact, there´s been an increase in shark attacks on humans. Not just that but the attacks themselves are becomming more violent.  I´ve heard several times that when sharks attack people, it´s not because they want to eat them, but because they are investigating what they are, by taking a bite. And they don´t actually like the taste so they usually leave the rest. Well not anymore. While we were there I heard about one guy who had his legs bitten off by a Great White, and as his friends were trying to pull what was left of him out of the water onto a boat, the shark came back and ripped the rest of him right out of their hands. And ate him all.

Anyone else hearing the Jaws theme tune while looking at this picture?

3. They are exercise mad.  Nope, it didn't do them much good in the Olympics, but it's still true.  In Perth there is a set of steps (274 to be exact) called Jacob's Ladder that go up Mount Eliza at King's Park.  The view from the top of the Swan River and Perth city skyline is lovely, but the steps themselves are nothing special, just a set of functional concrete stairs, nothing to see on the way up or down.  In fact they are quite secluded and if they were in London they would be the kind of place that junkies would hang out behind.  But not in Oz, oh no.  They are chocoblock full, in both directions, of people climbing them for exercise.  Men, women, young, old, walking, running, two at a time, with weights, you name it.  And when they get to the top they do press ups.  Of course I jumped at the chance to get involved when my friend Erica invited me to join her morning climb on my first day in Perth and it was fun.  But we saw a woman using her baby as a dumbell at the top, I shit ye not.



4. They have a bit of a chip on their shoulder about the English (but then again, who doesn't?!).  Our friends and family excluded, we did notice this a bit. Nothing serious, just something that cropped up a few times.  On one flight I was queuing for the toilet and exchanging polite conversation with a man who was also waiting.  As soon as he heard my accent, he felt compelled to immediately tell me that although his very distant ancestry is English, he was in no way descended from convicts.  Because of course that is what I assume every time I meet an Australian. He then started, well, whinging, about 'whinging' Poms. Whatevs.

5.The country is effing huge.  When we flew from Perth to Melbourne we got jetlag. Seriously.  I actually first penned this blog post in Argentina, a hell of a long way from home. I saw wild llamas the morning I wrote this for example, not something I regularly see on say, the 271 bus route.  Yet the time difference between Argentina and London is 3 hours, the same as the time difference between Perth and Melbourne.

And here are five things I found about Australia that I wasn't expecting:

 
1. The wine is not cheap. In fact, it's cheaper to buy Australian wine in the UK than Australia. OK, so maybe not the really good stuff, but who buys that anyway?  It reminded me of the time last year when we had to take champagne to Paris from London, so we could afford to drink it there.

But the wine tasting is free, however. And with complimentary cheese.

2. The beaches are gorgeous! Is Australia famous for its beaches? I know it's famous for surfing, but when I think of countries with beautiful beaches I don't think of Australia.  But we went to some lovely ones. And the best bit is they're just there - no annoying hawkers, umbrella men or loads of bars, restaurants and shops lining the proms. Nice.

Just like Summer Bay



X Factor audition pic

















3. The birds sound like baby dinosaurs.  No 'cheap-cheap' or morning birdsong like you hear in England.  When you wake up in Australia, for a split second you think you're in Jurassic Park.






4. OK, this one is a bit embarrassing to admit, but they have koalla bears in the wild.  I thought they were all in zoos or wildlife parks.  But we saw some on the Great Ocean Road just hanging out. Loads of them. Made my day.
















5. They are a very hospitable nation.  I don't mean I was expecting them to be inhospitable, but everywhere we went we were treated like family.  And not just by our families, though they were especially amazing.  By our friends and their friends and families. We were fed, watered, laundered (our clothes that is), driven about and given guided tours. Absolutely everywhere we went we were made to feel so at home.  I'm not saying we wouldn't do the same (and we've made a lot of 'next time you're in London' promises that we absolutely mean), but there's something very laid back about it over there (perhaps the lack of British reserve?) that just puts you at ease immediately.



My Aussie family BBQ at Gary and Barb's



erm... enough said.

E3 Foreva baby

Night out in Perth before Miss Mansfield heads home

My cousin Barb makes a MEAN Margarita

Like uncle, like nephew: Tom n Roars

Hutchings' family dinner - you haven't lived until you've had one. 

The beautiful bride and the boys!

Tom and his sisters getting ready for our Big Night Out

Another day, another drink!

First night out in Melbourne

Tom's gorgeous sisters Astra and Delta

You can't come all the way to Oz without getting fed by king of the kitchen Luke Nuewen - another masterpiece.

Cheddar's leaving do - we met him for the first timethis night and then again for the Inca Trail!

Our lovely Tanya.

Tom's family minus Rory: Mica, Astra, Sean, Naomi and Delta

And of course... the Griswald's family day out to the beach! Perfect end to our time Down Under.

We left Australia feeling sad that it will be such a long time before we see all those faces again, but happy and incredibly lucky to have them in our lives.